I am super tired of your H. Why don't you set yourself a secret deadline of a year (and maybe a little extra) for him to get his act together? Don't tell him. Just know it in your mind so you will feel you have an escape hatch coming soon. Have you gotten to your new gym this week? I'm not suggesting you date; I think that's a bad idea now. But I'm sure there are many non-depressed fish in the sea for you in the future if that's what happens. I know you may not want to hear that, but it's very likely true. Your H is not who you met and married at this time. Will he be again? He may or may not. That is the harsh reality.
Hope you have a better next week.
Don't beat yourself up because some truth slipped out of your mouth on that phone call. Turn your phone off if you can't handle talking to him the way you prefer to talk to him this week. Going dark stops fights. Where can you put some of this anger so it doesn't drag you down?
I am having an anger rollercoaster too and it is not fun!
