Just saying what's shown on the other site buddy. It's just the way it is.
MrBond,
I've been on surviving infidelity. Some direct efforts, some waiting, various approaches. All the cheating incidents and WAW attitudes are as we say they are, its pretty common.
When they say "its just the way it is", is there some sort of conspiracy today that women are going to be cheating on us and expecting us to wait, and change for the better?
In the end you will see. Hanging in there isn't working.
Sorry to bust in here guys...
But, I will...
I must have five or six LOCKED threads, plus my current one with 18 months or so of patience, and standing, and understanding, and being the warm, loving home, and better option.
BLECH! YUK!
Been there TOO long, and DONE that.
Wish I would have gotten it way back when. Funny it took a PI w/a camera to make you get it.
I'm very close to confronting, and have given ZERO attention the past few weeks, as the info started to seep out... funny, I've been offered a new boat, a new phone, asked about the possibility of a summer vacation.
NO WAY. Done.
And, if he comes crawling/crying back? I'm sorry... why don't you wait two years (like I did) and show me someone worthy of my attention?
OK, Rant Over.
Oh, and/or - maybe if we divorce and start over, we can start fresh again!?!?! LMAO SO NOT HAPPENING.
Last edited by mindfull; 04/22/1006:59 PM.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Nope. Everyone's sitch depends on the individuals involved. When I said "it's just the way it is" I meant it as a general statement that people get back together for different reasons and methods.
"When they say "its just the way it is", is there some sort of conspiracy today that women are going to be cheating on us and expecting us to wait, and change for the better?"
Of course not. What kills me on this site is how some people think there is a one method cures all. It's a combination of things based on your own sitch. That's why DB stresses that you should do what works. If you try something and it's not getting a good response, then do something else.
I mean how many people actually do what the book recommends? Writing in a journal, trying things out for a week and then writing your progress by sticking to that plan? Very few.
If "going gucci" works for them, great! If being a little more giving works, great! This site is about Divorce BUSTING. And that's the ultimate goal.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
With all due respect to MWD and to you MrBond (I was more ranting about me...), it did bust my divorce. It also put me in a position to be strong enough to make my own decisions regarding the marriage.
OIN - Good Luck, and I'm glad you're getting all kinds of opinions.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
I went to bed last night contemplating if I should try to lay in the same bed as my W....after much thought I did. I went to bed and she did not budge. We both slept in the same bed. My W woke up, went and had breakfast, showered and she came back to bed. I was surprised but glad she felt comfortable enough to come lay beside me again.
I went to my personal training session and when i returned home my W was in a bad mood. After a lot of silent treatment...I could feel the tension but was not sure what set her off. I asked her if she had any plans to do anything for the day and if not would she like to do something. She immediately said "NO."
She then asked if I changed the password for the login for the phone bill. I told her "Yes." She was very upset. I decided to tell her the truth that for a period of time I was in contact with OM and OMW and did not let her know. I thought it was for the best. I nor OM and OMW wanted my W to have OM new phone number which she could retrieve from the logs. My W wanted to hear none of it.
My W put her coat on and I asked "you heading out?" she said "Yes" and I asked "where" she did not reply and then she left.
I said nothing and let her leave. I did not call or text her after she left. I left myself, ran tot he store. When I returned home, she returned shortly after. She had went to the pet store.
I remained silent and said nothing. She walked up to me and asked me to be honest with her...she asked about the calls and why I changed the password. I told her I did remain in contact but last time I spoke to them was well over 3-4 weeks ago. I told her I changed the pass and that was my decision.
After, things seemed to have calmed down. We started to talk again and have a few conversations. I am still keeping my distance and going to let her initiate all contact.
SO I had a backslide. Not sure how much damage it caused. I know somewhere in there when she asked me a question, I started to respond and then she would say "Doesn't matter, I don't really care" so I said "I know you don't care" and she replied "whatever, you don't know"
M: 27, W: 25 Together since: 01/31/00 M: 10/4/09 (8 Months) ILBNILWY: 01/24/10 EA confirmed: 02/10/10 (Busted). Road to Reconcile began: 07/10/10 Retrouvaille: 09/10/10
Didn't sound too bad. You told her the truth and was respecting the wishes of the OM and his W. It's your W that still wants to push buttons. Good job at sticking to your guns.
Maybe you need to go out and not be as mopey around the house. You may not thing you are, but it will tend to come out without you realizing it.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
I'd say where you're at right now seems pretty typical when one partner has had control. I know because I too have control issues and have seen the same response from past partners. Its often said that control creates a parent/child type relationship and all children rebel. Seems like your wife is "rebelling" for lack of a better word.
I also work in Law Enforcement and I understand some of the stress and pressure that goes with it. While its no excuse, it does create some unique stressors.
Sounds good. I like that the bed thing went well, you did it perfect and she got back in the bed. It does seem like she's rebelling. I probably wouldn't bring out too much information to make her mad from now on. Maybe you guys can find something to do fun together. What does she mean by "she doesn't care"?
