How long it takes is anybody's guess as it would be up to the MLCer how fast he/she processes through the issues at hand when and if they start to deal with them. That probably has to do with the severity of the issues as well.
Well, then this might take the rest of his life to resolve since he has some very serious issues. He has experienced abandonment repeatedly in his developing years.
He was raised by his mother who had been a WAW in both her marriages and a couple of her long-term relationships. She also managed to walk away from her only son in the end after she realized she couldn't have her way in his life decisions. As a result there was no communication between the 2 for 11 years thereafter. She died and they never saw or spoke to each other again. MIL never met her grandkids. Soo sad...Soo selfish... She punished him even after her death by disinheriting him. What kind of a person must one be to do something like that? Mind you, my H had been a very good son to her considering what he must have been through growing up living with a selfish narcissist mother and her occasional husband/boyfriend.
H had told me that he had missed very much having a father in his growing years. I encouraged him to reunite with his father and he did, when he was 30. Unfortunately that didn't go well as FIL's wife was a b***h from hell. She did everything in her power to sabotage the father-son relationship and she succeeded. Heartbreaking.
H's mother never forgave H for reuniting with his father and she showed her hatred to both of us by sending us to h**l. Those were her exact words actually to H in writing: "Son, take your wife and your father and go to H**l.
Sometimes I wonder myself if these people have been in my life for real.
So, as you can see with all this baggage, I don't know if my H will be able to face his issues on his own without the help of a C.
I have so much empathy for him. I wish I could help him to come out of this depression. It must be horrible.
Bomb: 4/2009 M28 T32 Sep8 Me: 53, H:57 S20,D17 D papers filed by H: 2013 H didn't follow up with divorce I completely let go ever since
