I called him on his stuff. He raised his voice several times - he backed down saying he wasn't trying to be rude. He was. My D even noticed and told him so.
Two more hours people and my life with H is over as we know it. When he comes back its a whole different story.
I will give him a hug goodbye...he won't know it will be the last
OTMT,
I was not saying that it is "long overdue" for a D. I meant it was long overdue that she "called him on his stuff." I was just encouraging luvless to do what she thinks is best. It is her decision. It just seems that she had not "called him on his stuff" from what she was saying.
I apologize to luvless for any misunderstandings in my post. It is your decision to D or not. I was kind of just cheering for you. I do know that it is difficult to D. I just wanted to provide support.
Again sorry that I used poor choice of words. I will try not to that in the future.
ME-41 W-33 M-8 D-8 S-4 D 5/17/2010 www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1961097#Post1961097
Luv- how are you doing today? I'm having a major junk food breakdown day. You know it's bad when the cashier notices and asks you about it, given what you're buying. I hope you had a peaceful evening last night after H left. I can't remember when he's coming back or what you'll have waiting for him L-wise. If you care to, remind us so we're sending good thoughts to you.
((Luv))
When the men on the chessboard Get up and tell you where to go; And you've just had some kind of mushroom And your mind is moving slow; Go ask Alice... I think she'll know.
I am not doing too well today. I did some crying last night and this morning so it's not out of me yet. I spoke with a dear DB friend on the phone and she helped me through.
He's not coming back for almost two weeks and when he gets back he will be served. He doesn't care so I'm sure it won't phase him.
Thank you for checking up on me. I am grateful.
Luv
M44 H41 M20 T23 3 older teens Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy" EA Nov 09 w/coworker Another PA in Mar 10 I Filed Apr 10 D final Dec 10
Oh, ((((Luv)))). I'm so sorry to hear you're blue- but sometimes the crying is cathartic, and it needs to happen. I wonder if something's wrong with me b/c I'm not doing too much of it myself lately... I'm so glad you got to speak with a good friend on the phone. Do you have more close friends or IC you can be talking to during this rough patch?
Can you do something nice and gentle for yourself this weekend- get your nails done, see a movie, or just take a nice bath? Fix up your hair and go out with a friend (probably the last thing you feel like doing, but you might feel better after than you think). I know none of it will fix things, but they are small steps to taking care of you when you're feeling so raw. I wish I could give you a real hug -- keep letting us know how you're doing, even before we ask- journal here if you feel like it. We're all of us reading along and thinking of you and want to know what's going on and how you're taking care of yourself.
((((extra hug))))
When the men on the chessboard Get up and tell you where to go; And you've just had some kind of mushroom And your mind is moving slow; Go ask Alice... I think she'll know.
(((Luv))) goodbyes are hard, even if it's the right thing for you.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
He's not coming back for almost two weeks and when he gets back he will be served. He doesn't care so I'm sure it won't phase him.
You may be right. He may just chalk it up to being the victim (blaming you instead of sharing the responsibilities of M problems).
What if he asks that day or the next in one way to have you reconsider? Would you want to? Would your angry emotions not betray you one way or the other?
I think, a person who hugs someone before serving them wants the man to wake up and make changes.
I guess I should tell you guys what happened yesterday. I had to pick up H from airport bcuz older son was in class (last time I will ever get him) I took daughter with me as a buffer. He said hello to her and nothing to me other than 10 mins later "u should get in the carpool lane."
He packed because he was going back out at 9pm...his traveling is beyond ridiculous. I knew I wasn't going to talk to him again so I told him, "I have some things I want to tell you." He really didn't want to talk so I said, "oh you'll want to listen bcuz this is the last time I'll be talking to you."
I told him everything I needed to get off my chest. It was about 45 mins of me telling him what I liked about our marriage and what I didn't like. I explained to him I would not let him rewrite our history - he agreed. I brought up what he's been doing and he still avidly denies any PA. I do not believe that for one second.
He is involved with some other woman now and not the original one (I think) He was at her house till 4am on a friday night then again till midnight on that next Monday so something is definately going on. He swears he's done nothing and says he's tired of me accusing him ha! who's tired?
He said one thing that hurt bad but what did I expect? I said, "you have abandoned me and the kids" he said, "I don't appreciate you saying I abandoned the kids..I want to be here I just don't want to be with you." ouch - last nail driven in. I said, "where does this anger come from?" I said, "what did I do to you?" he replies, "nothing I'm just done."
He kept saying "why are you referring to this being the last time you talk to me?" I thought to myself...why do you care I thought you were done!
Anyway he said he understood (with some of the things I told him) and I gave him a goodbye - the last hug he will ever get from me
A very sad Luv....
M44 H41 M20 T23 3 older teens Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy" EA Nov 09 w/coworker Another PA in Mar 10 I Filed Apr 10 D final Dec 10
