Calling all affair annihilators & boundary setters

[pearlharbr]

I made it very clear that I would not even consider talking about reconciling until he had completely cut all communication with OW and sent a no contact letter that I had approved (even after he said he ended contact I caught him twice), we agreed on a financial settlement should we end up splitting for good, and he agreed to do whatever work was necessary to address the issues we had. Even after all of this I told him that there was no guarantee I would take him back, I would only agree to try.

Start educating yourself about recovery from infidelity. Read the books, see an IC, do what you need to do to figure out what you want and what you're prepared to deal with. If you don't do the work, how can you expect H to do the work?