When did you decide to reconcile?

[4luv]

OK, so right now husband and I have been talking alot more. He still hasn't done all the things I've needed him to do but its only been a week since he came to me and said he wanted to do whatever it took to save our marriage.

One of the things is I told him to change his personal cell and work cell phone number. Husband has a child with OW from before we got married so NC is not gonna be 100% feasible but I told him that I feel more comfortable if they communicated concerning the child via an email account that we both have access too.

Well that was a few days ago and he still hadn't changed his number so I bought it up again. He had no problem the first time I bought it up but this time he wanted to know why I felt that was necessary. I explained how it made me more comfortable and then husband says "well, I don't really see the purpose because in the end I am going to do what I am going to do so you have to just trust me to do the right thing." i didn't get baited into an argument but rather said, well, if you don't want to do it then that is up to you but that is something I need for me so we will have some other things to start discussing in that case. Husband quickly changed his tune and said "no, I told you that I am willing to do whatever you need me to do to gain your trust so if that makes you comfortable then I will do it."

I guess I am taken aback by his questioning this step. And if it were me, I would handle it RIGHT away if I really wanted my family back. This all happened yesterday and he hasn't done it yet. How long should I give him to change the number. I don't plan on bringing it up again because I believe that his actions will let me know how sincere he is in wanting to save the marriage and us be a family again.

Also, I have A MILLION questions swirling in my head that pop up throughout the day. Before I ask them I usually weigh what outcome I am expecting and whether I REALLY need to ask the question. How do you bring up the HARD questions in the midst of having a good day with your spouse or having a good conversation. It seems as though I would like to start building GOOD memories right away but I always have these hard questions in the back of my mind that sometimes won't go away. I don't want to be a "debbie downer" to my husband so when do I bring them up in a way where we are not ALWAYS talking about the affair.