As much as you don't want to hear this, as long as your W is in any type of EA nothing good will happen. Think about it, she has you "in person" to take her out, have sex with and be there when she needs you and then she has the fantasy of the EA.
Have you ever sat your mom down and said "Mom, I really appreciate you allowing me to live here while I sort my life out. I would very much like to improve our relationship and the way we communicate. What can I do?"
You fight with your mom then run to your W and she eats it up. Yet when your W doesn't want you around she makes sure you are not.
I wouldn't put too much stock in how she behaved when you were ill earlier this week. IMO much of it was her fear of not having you around as she wants.
