I agree with all you say. There is still a lot of connection in our interactions. I don't entertain a hope for reconcilation in the future, but I do think that our future as co-parents will be good and positive. Is there a possibility of that door still being open? Sure. But I'm not going to focus on it or base my behaviors or choices on it.
I talked to her on the phone last night too, about other things, and it was a pretty edgy conversation. And in the end, I forgot to make the boys' lunches and had to do it this morning; I didn't sleep well, etc. So - yeah - better to focus the life I'm reconstructing. Would be so easy to fall back into the hole.
CTH - yes, I do feel that. Yes.
Anyway, smoothed over now. I commented on how eager she is to take me to my colonoscopy. Humor, always the reliable tension-breaker.