No we did not talk yet but I am thinking that rather than actually talking about the letter I will start to act on what I said and try to talk more about sex.
It is hard for me and I have been thinking about this because I do not have a problem with sex- I think it is a good thing. I think my inhibitions come from when I was younger and I did have a lot of problems coming to terms with my sexuality as I was growing up. I suppose I felt ashamed of my body. I think I did not really have the role models or the support to think of what was happening as something good. It just scared me and I only saw the bad side of it. But as I grew up I grew past this intellectually but perhaps emotionally I was stuck with some of the old hang ups.
It does not help at all that my H is kind of similar and does not like talking about sex either. I imagine that is one of the reasons I felt comfortable with him when we first met. Anyway I think we have both made the other worse. It is only since I started trying to improve our sex life that I have realised the importance of getting past my inhibitions, but I hope that is some way forward in itself.
I was reading an interesting book I got out of the library while surfing the web there the other day. It was about family therapy. It was saying that for the mother and father to have a good sex life is very important to the family as a whole. It is part of what binds the family together. Anyway one suggestion was the use of those sort of lover's guide type videos so I thought I might try to get my H to watch one of those with me. We do need some tips it seems.
Last time we made love I did later ask him if he enjoyed it and he said it was OK but I was too rough!! Well I think what he meant was that it was too clumsy. I felt sort of rushed as if he would stop at any minute and I was trying to manuoever him into a better position which he resisted. I think this is the sort of thing we could improve if we talked more about it. So I thought the video might be a kind of icebreaker as well as hopefully being educational (or possibly just erotic, but I think I would be ok with that). OK I feel I am getting better at this talking about sex business already. But it helps that I am not really talking and on an anonymous website. Still let's call it progress.
Now to less exotic but also satisfying matters; The Xmas Pudding recipe.
110g shredded suet 50g self raising flour 110g white breadcrumbs 1tsp mixed spice 1/4 tsp freshly grated nutmeg 1/2 tsp cinnamon 225g dark brown soft sugar 110g raisins 110g sultanas 275g currants 25g whole mixed candied peel finely chopped 25g chopped almonds 1 small cooking apple peeled cored and finely chopped grated zest 1/2 large orange grated zest 1/2 large lemon 2 tablespoons dark rum 65ml barley wine 65ml stout or 130ml stout or dark beer or 130ml red grape juice (non alcoholic version) 2 large eggs
Grease a 2 pint pudding basin (or a bowl that can be boiled)
The day before you want to make it mix all the ingredients together in a large bowl. It should be quite sloppy if not add a little more liquid. Everyone in the family should mix the pudding mixture for good luck.
Leave in fridge overnight for the flavours to develop. The next day place mixture in the prepared basin. Traditionally a small clean coin is added to the mixture. Whoever finds it will have good luck in the coming year. Seal the top either with a plastic lid or with greaseproof paper and foil tied on with a piece of string.
Place the basin in a large sauce pan and fill up to 3/4 of the way up the basin with boiling water from the kettle. Do not let the basin touch the side of the pan or it may melt (this has happened to one of my puds this year very annoying after 8 hrs boiling I can tell you) Bring the water to the boil and then simmer gently covered with a lid for 8 hours topping up the water every 1/2 hr. You can also cook it in a steamer, again keep checking the water regularly.
When cold if you covered the pud with greaseproof and foil replace with fresh paper and foil. If you used a plastic lid leave as it is.
Store the pudding in a cool dark place for about 4 to 6 weeks before using. Now is the time to make them ready for xmas. It is a lot easier than it sounds. Hope you will give it a try.
On the day you want to serve it steam/boil it again for 2 hrs.
It is normally served with cream or brandy sauce which is like a bechamel sauce (white sauce) with added sugar and cream and lots of brandy. We normally set it alight by spooning over a ladleful of flaming brandy or vodka. Just be careful. Some people also stick a sprig of holly in the top instead.
