Hi Blackie Sorry I didn't reply straight away my computer has been off line for a while. Now in public library obsessively checking up on you all. Sorry to hear your W filed for D. It is hard to have these things made public as well. I still think you have a good chance of saving your M tho. Keep DBing away. If you still love your w you could always keep dbing even if the D did become final. This can work. I liked something I read which said you should not be afraid of D because you would want to divorce yourself from this R and start a totally new one.
Back to my own sitch and I wonder if I am doing the right thing by not saying anything or if just being a coward? I will think about what you said tho.
These last few days have been feeling rather frustrated. Was thinking about this last night. Sometimes my H can be very affectionate when we go to bed and this makes me want more. I was wondering if I should tell him not to do this to me if he is just going to push me away if I go too far, as he did last night. I felt quite hurt by this. I was thinking perhaps I should wear one of those Granny nighties like the old ladies in the home I work and just give him a peck on the cheek. Perhaps he would like that?? Later I was thinking more about this and I realised that you can't turn away from what you should be doing just because it may have the potential to be painful. It's as if I think that all pain is bad, to be avoided. But this is not always so. In many cases you cannot grow without going thru some hurt so you just have to face it. It's never as bad as you thought it would be.
I can't stop being myself just because my H does not feel the exact same way I do. Neither of us is wrong we just need to find a way to be more understanding of each other. But I would not really want to lose the physical affection he is willing to participate in. I need to find a way to handle this that will work for both of us not just one.
Maybe this weekend I will try to start up some kind of conversation about sex and see where it goes. Must be brave!
Xmas Pudding is what we have for dessert on Christmas Day. It is a rich suet pudding a bit like fruit cake only softer very nice you should try it I will give you the recipe if you like. What do you have?
