Calling all affair annihilators & boundary setters

[courts0818]

No, I don't want him to move back in and just act like everything is peachy. There is A LOT of work and restoration that needs to be done. I guess I didn't really get that he might try to move back in and not address the A and everything else. But since he hasn't apologized to me, maybe he really thinks he could just move back in and we could jump right back into life together - sex and all.

I know that we aren't piecing. At this point I think he’s probably interested in finally doing the right thing for DD, not for me.

It's not that it's wrong to wait and see what happens. I just felt like since he finally admitted the A (after lying about it for so long) that maybe he was ready to work on the marriage. Why else would he finally admit it? Guilt? Did OW dump him?

I really want to have some consistency in my life. I'm exhausted from dealing with this. I'm tired of being alone. I'm ready to stop seeing my DD sad bc her dad isn't here. I’m tired of just ignoring him and the situation. Yes I can GAL and try to keep a positive attitude – but really there is only so much effort and patience I have to give. This is sucking the life out of me.

....I know - I'm whining and I need to suck it up and I will! I'm just at my wit’s end with all of this.

And it's still a roller coaster ride. One day my heart is completely broken and the next day I can't stand to be around him. Like last night as we were telling DD goodnight - he was right next to me and I almost felt disgusted - like I didn't want him around me and that's bc I had these sick mental images of him and OW pop into my head.

I guess I’m just having some overwhelming days and thoughts – which is par for the course.

Sigh....