SR, that's a great post. I do hope that in five years I look back at this time proudly. I was reading the first part of the "The Journey from Abandonment to Healing" and it's about shattering.
Abandonment shatters everything you thought about yourself. It has examples of other people in there and I've had exactly the same feelings.
One thing I was wondering about is why I'm so emotional right now? It's been 11 months since I moved out. This morning after getting the girls to school I came back home to eat breakfast and I broke down again. What was hitting this morning was the question -- "Was it all a lie?"
Back in October she said she feels like she never loved me or that she had doubts as early as six months. In my head, I know that's script. In my heart, it makes me wonder about all the good memories -- or at least I'm wondering right now.
Did the actual divorce process open up old wounds for others on the boards or were you already pretty beaten down by then.
Another thing I'm realizing is that I still haven't accepted the fact I'm getting divorced. Honestly, every step of the way I thought there would be some miracle to turn things around. Even yesterday. And when another hurdle passes and there's no change I crash again.
I really don't think I'll accept I'm getting divorced until the paperwork is signed and the judge signs off on it. Was anyone else like this?
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
