When I was younger and closer to the playa side, I knew "OM's", that they would record and log most of their dealings with W's, and offshoots of those guys would either rob, or blackmail the husband/wife.
The wife never knew how bad she was badtalked ( hoe, slut, etc ) by these OM's while they had them. Some OM's know they are getting all into your business and may even attack you or have their cronies do it. Now that I know that OM/OW usually make themself hate the spouse, and that I am much older I am so much more wary about cheating myself.
I don't want to talk too much about my sitch, but in it, OM was in a different state. I'm not sure if they still speak or if there is a new one. Wife built up an ego off of it, and has not released it. This particular ego is not good for me as it usually makes me feel diminished.
Early on in our relationship and why I married her, the ego was shared with mine and got stronger if I was doing good. This new one tends to go against me and be critical of me, and I'll be damned if I treat my own wife like a sister. Some of it is like OfficerInNeed and others like James217. I am not that man though.
I know that an altercation or affair bursting will be a nearly instantaneous way to reverse the decline in perception and personal power.
See when wife cheats on us, sometimes they put us into a "son" role others a "brother" role, we occasionally end up far down on the "friends ladder", and sometimes they just find reasons to hate us...
You know as well as I do, the longer these things go on, the further away they are pulling from you, and the more that they will try to pull over on you, and the worse they look at you.
So you know what I'm saying. I want a reversal of the downfall in this situation.
I do know however, that females who are unaware of my situation, give me all "my chips", that I'm used to having up front. So I know with a woman that values me, outside of this sitch, I'm good. I will never let this happen to me again.
I want to hear some stories. I hope to add some of my own.
