My UFO (unbelievably fabulous observations)

[hoosiermama]

that's a good point; I think I would have addressed that as "what I would have done as a pastoral minister" sort of thing--because I have been one. He's not my pastor--he's xH's, in a different denomination, but because xH entered the priesthood process while we were still married, the pastor and the discernment committees made it very clear that even tho I was not actually a member that they were there for my support as well. And he made it clear 2 years ago when I asked him to talk to xH (in the first week after he left, and right after I discovered the emails confirming the affair) that because of the awkwardness of the situation, he would not be talking to me about it again. But--since he chose to make contact now, and it was apparently only to assuage his own discomfort, I figured this is an opportunity to engage the situation.