My Wife And Her Emotional Affair

[WhatNow]

Ken,

YOU are making their A oh so romantic!! YOU, not them, are making this a Romeo/Juliet thing! Every time you confront one of them about contact, without consequences, you are the DAD that is controlling a teenager. This is PUSHING them together.

So what can you do?

Option 1: Be the better option. She will see her A as deficient and give it up. You must ignore the A and focus on you and your M WITHOUT EXPECTATIONS. There are dangers here...Her thinking you are OK with her behavior, the A goes on indefinately, you become a complete mess.......

Option 2: Draw a boundary line. Me or Him. Me = M, NC w/ OM, COMPLETE transparency or she leaves.

Option 3: Both of the above. Eventually, "dad" will become to difficult to deal with and she will leave, for him, for anyone anywhere.

Yes, throwing her out will throw them together. This will make them see reality, eventually. But without you constantly pushing them together, they will probably lose interest. At this point, everything you are doing is pushing them together. YOu are reinforcing whatever justifications she has created about you and your M.

This is so painful to watch, I can't imagine how difficult it is for you. Please, please please, let go of the outcome. You cannot make her end it. You can make her want to end it, by stating a boundary and standing by it.

So, Mr Capulet, what do you really want?? A W that want to be with you or a W that runs from you?

What positives do you see in Option 1?

I was being sarcastic in even suggesting it b/c:
It will also probably add to her guilt, which will also encourage her to leave.
You haven't been able to stop pursuing so far.
Her only consequences for ignoring NC have been more whining from you.

Option 2:
She will miss your family and begin to want it rather than have it represent something to get away from.

You have to change your MO!