I need help in the biggest way. I feel so helpless

[timehealsall]

another feel good day here ladies and gents.

great new skirt, red peep toes pumps and I feel fabulous!

I will admit that when I woke up this morning, I had D on my mind. I just kept thinking to myself. How long can I actually go on like this? this limbo? how long will I be able to put up with it? I'm not done yet. In fact, I feel as though I am the strongest I've been in a long time. I still love my H. there is no doubt about that. But I love myself more. I haven't felt that in a long time. I lost myself for a while.

Like Laura Munson says in her book "Because whether or not he comes back to me, I will be ultimately empowered by my commitment not to suffer...If my H and I come out the other side, together, in love, still married, and unsuffering, then this... will have been worth it...And even if we don't, then I know I will be a better person for living this way."

[RedHeadWife]

If you're going out w/ his sister, he's going to know what you're doing if he wants to ask her anyway, so I wouldn't worry about it. Where are the girls if your son is staying w/ your parents?

I just wouldn't bring it up again. If he does, maybe just calmly ask if it bothers him for some reason and if he wants to talk about it.

Got the book "Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands" and just started it. Already seeing things differently. Hopefully this will help my attitude a bit. Also, figure if H sees I'm reading it, he will know I'm actively *trying*, you know?

[james217]

another feel good day here ladies and gents.

great new skirt, red peep toes pumps and I feel fabulous!

."

whistles. lol

thing is. i don't want him thinking I'm pissed at him for not calling... if I responded lightly and friendly and answered his questions it would come off that I'm NOT mad. if I put it off until later, he will assume I'm angry that he didn't call. (i've actually ignored him the past and that sets him off).

god this is confusing.

when I'm peachy and happy and DON'T expect anything, he reaches out to me more while he is away. when I act b!tchy and don't reply when he writes, he turns into a jerk and will then totally not contact me.

it's tough...

lol t.h.a. first the "P" now the "B" word too?

seems like we're in somewhat of the same place. If i'm Wally Cleaver mor Mike Brady then everything is fine. If I don't talk when she wants she's mad or i'm avoiding her.

If I talk when she doesn't want to talk or get ticked off cause we were sposed to talk then there's silence.

So i'm going to try saying NOTTTHING. I think she would be upset if I didn't call to wish her happy bday though.

*buys tha a drink lol*

[timehealsall]

His sister is nuts. Love her. She thinks I should go on a tear and get her brother back. But I couldn't do that. I'm a b!tch not a cheater. She also likes to rub in H's face how many times I get picked up. Lol

Red, good job girlie. Let me know how you like the book.

James, you're a trip. We r damned if we do, damned if we don't.


Journal:

Didn't hear from H all day. But he just sent me an email asking that I give the kids a kiss and that he wish he were here to see S5 first baseball game.

I don't even want to respond. Eff him.

Red, the girls are with my folks. Having them
is therapeutic for them. They love it.

[timehealsall]

Journal: I have not responded to his email.

He just called me at work and left me a vm saying that he wanted to see how things were going.

What do I do? it sucks shutting him out because there are kids involved and I feel like he has a right to know how they are doing. ugh.

[timehealsall]

He just called again and left me a message.

He checked his VM and S5's school had called (yesterday) because S5 was scratching his eye. and then he ends the VM with "I see we're playing phone games now"

whatever.

he just emailed me at work as well.

what do I do guys?

[timehealsall]

So, I emailed him back to let him know that S5 is okay.

He replies back that I need to take S5 to the pediatrician to get a note in order to rule out pink eye.

I write back that I don't have enough money to take him to the doctor until payday (we used my last check for bills; I asked him to put extra cash in our joint on Wednesday and he ignored the email and never did).

So he writes back

"lol.... so he's not going to go to school until then ....nice. i will put money in the acc and stop playing stupid. you know their money in the acc ... and i called you, but i see you are playing don't pick up the phone game. that's fine or even email me back from my other email i sent last night. Well just keep in mind the way you're acting. it's over anyway, so i would not expect anything else from you. to be a bitch to me ... don't wait by the phone I will call my dad for updates."

I'm seething right now.

please help me guys! I need to be calmed down.

[timehealsall]

So responded

"I think that's the best thing for you to do. Thanks for the money."

[timehealsall]

soooo I feel better. got some fresh air and my SIL snapped me back to normal.

no email/call back but I checked the intel I have and he's been going through old emails I sent him and looking at pictures of me and the kids..

what does this mean? help me guys. no one has responded.

[CityGirl]

I understand you want to know what it means but honestly, don't waste the energy trying to figure it out. I am not being unkind I am simply saying you won't know so why bother thinking about it?

I think it is best to give your H the shortest, most neutral answers possible. He sounds very angry and nothing good will come out of engaging in conflict with him.

Sure he is annoyed! LOL! You are not picking up his every call and waiting around for him. He is losing control of the situation and he doesn't like that. Too bad.

Keep being fabulous, happy, confident and let him behave how he wants.