My exH used to say, "Give me the headline, THEN I'll listen to the story..." I would often ramble before getting to the point and he preferred the point first so the rest made sense...
Just last night on Glee (yep everything goes back to Glee) they were talking about how the boys took advantage of/mistreated the girls in many ways, and how the girls allowed it to happen....they said we need to take ownership of our lives and of our bodies and not give that control over to the guys...what we do with our bodies is up to us, etc.
So if you want to know what is going on then you sure as he!! have the right to say, "So, Gabe, what's going on here, from your POV?"
Don't expect him to have a clear head when you don't.
So Mish, exactly what are YOUR intentions?
Can't answer? Neither can he. Want to force an answer you might not want? Then force it now. Otherwise, be patient.
Quit trying to get stuff out of him.
Focus on your own boundaries. What is your boundary here.
"I'm not sure what this is. I'm not comfortable in a FB R. Doesn't work for me, it turns out. So, I need to stop having sex with you until or unless we decide this is something beyond a FB R."
Give him space to figure out what he wants without forcing the answer or neither of you will no what his true choice is.
I wish you this year of your life, to bring to you all the happiness accumulated so far... Love Maria
As for Gabe, I've been MIA cause I know you are torn between desperately wanting this to work and having the experience he may bail out.
Keep in mind that : Gabe came back with a "I love you and I need a place to stay" kind of way. If he had money, a place to stay, would he still be ...watering your plant? Forget the original reason why, he is nice and caring afterall. Do you honestly think he changed? Has he done work? Have you done work too? What scares me is that your self esteem is so fragile, I dont know how you will handle another stupidity act from Gabe.
The only way I see you coming out of this is calling him on his BS, focusing on USING this opportunity to MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY. Use the guy, have him babysit, help around, feed your beaver, enjoy company time, see how he behaves, see how consistent he is and THEN, YOU get serious. It's a test and trial phase. Just my IMO...
