Well back to the drawing board. My date and I have both agreed that we do not have much in common. Actually, it turns out we have ALOT in common, both still trying to deal with life after. He said that when his xg left him, it was tough, and then he found an old crush on FB and was hoping they could hook up. When it looked like that wasn't going to happen, he decided to join a dating site. But it looks like he is still holding out hope that the crush will notice him. Cie la vie.
The strange thing is part of me feels rejected, and yet the other part of me feels relieved. I hate being alone. And yet I am terrified to even try again. It was a relief because I don't have to put forth the effort to try to get to know someone. Somewhere deep inside, this has to be the wrong way.
Maybe I am not ready yet. I don't know. I feel disappointed in myself. I feel like I am supposed to be ready to get out there, and yet I also feel like I am forcing it.
It's crazy.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
I was kind of relieved things went south with R so I didn't have to worry about it (weird huh?)
And already the date I have tonight I want to go well but at the same time, not sure how well I want it to go bc I have been on dates w/four other men so far and never gone on a second date with any of them!
And already the date I have tonight I want to go well but at the same time, not sure how well I want it to go bc I have been on dates w/four other men so far and never gone on a second date with any of them!Ugh!
Ah, "getting back out there" is both interesting and quite sucky, isn't it?
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
Well, I can put a positive spin on this. Many people would have just hit the ignore button, but this guy didn't. He explained it to me, after a minute or two (I have a real problem w/ rejection, but that is a whole other thread LOL, has to do with my dad) I realized he was right. We agreed to remain friends.
There is a reason for everything, and methinks I have some loving folks above looking out for me.
I am going to continue to date, because, well, it's normal. I don't need to find someone to have a R with right now. But dating, well who knows.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Hey, look at it this way. Sounds horrible but when I started dating, I looked at it as free entertainment! LOL If it doesn't work out, at least you got out and got a dinner and movie or something out of it... haha.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
