He's bluffing you Zen. He's not leaving, but he knows you are afraid so he pushes your limits.
There are so many posters on this forum who are afraid of losing their spouse. Waywards can SMELL FEAR and when you are afraid of losing them they will take ADVANTAGE of your fear. They realize that they can push your limits into accepting an open marriage and that you won't stop them or do anything about it.
He knows you won't interfere and that you are nervous, so he takes advantage. It will take you a while to build up the confidence to call his bluff.
He can tell you that he loves you my dear, but he's LYING to you. He probably DOES have loving feeleings for you, but right now he's not loving you in ACTION.. he's HURTING YOU.
Just picture someone eating a pile of junk food and saying to you "I want to lose weight"...
It's the same arrangement here... he's FEELING love for you, but he's DOING something that accomplishes the opposite... don't let him confuse you... he has to ACT LOVING.. not just TALK a good TALK about how he FEELS.
So many people confuse love as an action with love as a feeling and they get away with a lot of exploitation on account of it.
Start packing your things, get tons of moving boxes and fill the house with the boxes... then start packing stuff into the boxes... Don't argue with him or even talk to him... just keep packing and watch him panic. If he tries to bait you into talking or arguing, IGNORE HIM and keep packing.
Take your time packing, drag it out as long as needs be until he realizes you will leave when you are done packing.
Call a few friends on the phone with him in earshot, tell them that you need a place to stay until you get an apartment. Tell them OUTRIGHT on the PHONE that your husband is lying and cheating... expose him right over the phone to whomever is on the other line (there doesn't need to be anyone on the other end... its just for show...)
I did it, it gave my WS a panic attack each time I went near a box. I hated doing it, but she needed to see I was serious... And them watching you PACK your THINGS SHOWS them you won't TOLERATE being USED any longer.
