Infidelity/Extramarial Affairs/Jealousy

[newmama]

Zen,
First, always always always remember this- YOU CAN'T END THE A. Only your H (or OW) can end it. You can show your H that if he doesn't end it, then there will be consequences.

You could just do the classic move out of the house like they do in the movies- and not tell him where you are going, tell him not to call you but that you will contact him when you are ready. Be vague about why you are going and what you are going to do. But while you are away, yes this means he may be with OW. ANd yes you need to look into D (just to have the info and be less afraid). He will be so shocked if he thinks you are afraid to lose him to be without him. What??? SHE is leaving ME????

If you need to work up to that, then try out the silent treatment or some of the others Allen suggested as babysteps. They will help you feel more confident so that you can give a major consequence.

If you are afraid to be alone, think of it like this: being alone temporarily in order to have your H with you permanently.

You don't have to divorce him. But

Think of all your fears around being alone and address them one by one.

Oh and starting today- Stop crying in front of him-not just because it is unappealing to him but because it causes you to lose your strength and confidence-when I finally controlled myself on 10/15 and stopped crying in front of him I felt sooo strong! (lol!) My whole life I have cried easily! NO MORE! Well I have slipped a few times but it is better than 100. The best secret is that I just leave the room if I feel like tearing up will happen.

List all of your fears and q's here....it will help you!