OK; I'm getting fed up with this whole settlement thing. Maybe not the most productive approach, but I'm really tired of the "I'm taking you to court" thing, and she thinking she can just dictate the changes. Remember she was asking to be paid to watch the kids when they're sick, which I told her was appaling.
So, over email today -
W to mediator:
Quote:
Please disregard my previous e-mail regarding child sick days. I am willing to use Bill's solution on this issue: We will alternate the childcare on sick days 1:1 and I won't seek reimbursement for lost pay during the time I need to take off of work to be with them. I'd appreciate it if you could add this to our agreement documentation. Bill please respond to (mediator) on this if you are in agreement.
Me:
Quote:
I do not like the word "alternate". I would prefer to say that we are equally responsible for sick days, and agree to the 1:1 ratio of us staying home with the kids when needed. The difference as I see it is that we can decide based on what each of our priorities are for a particular day instead of a rigid "your turn / my turn," while serving the 1:1 ratio.
W:
Quote:
The problem with that is that I'm afraid that you will see your job as the priority and I will be expected to adjust my schedule. Doing it every other day means that I will at least be able to get pay for every other day. Saying that we will just "take turns" leaves it too open ended. Even if we put in the agreement every other day we still can do something different based on each individual situation.
Me:
Quote:
OK. I'm not in favor of putting this in the agreement.
W:
Quote:
Ok, you need to explain to me further why this is a problem for you and you need to address my concerns with this. It is not working together when you just say no. I'm really getting frustrated with this. Do we need to have a mediation appointment on this?
Me:
Quote:
It's overly complicated, it's unneccessary, and I'm not going to roll over just because it's what you want and you're willing to bully to get it. If you want to work together then TRUST ME.
W:
Quote:
BULLY!!!!!! Ok, you want to go that route just because I asked for clarification of your position. FINE!!!! I'll see you in court! Maybe then a judge will convince you of the sweetheart of a deal you are actually getting!!! God, you can be so dense sometimes. I just wanted you to explain why what I was saying was a problem! And NO I won't ever trust you again!!!!
Me:
Quote:
Wow. That's kind of an overreaction. You won't ever trust me again, that's actually kind of funny. You know, in an ironic sort of way.
Do you want to get this settlement signed or not? We can unneccessarily wrangle, or we can finish this and move on.
