is my WAH in an MLC (need some experts!)?

[ericmsant2]

Pandora

I have been following your sitch and wanted to give u a little insight into my mistakes/thoughts.

First off, you appear to be in the right place right now. I cannot stress enough the need to detach and focus on yourself. As Trent and others have mentioned this is easier said then done. There is no magic pill that will help. You will fail sometimes - we all do. You must however pick yourself up and keep marching forward.

Regarding your BIL - I may not understand the cultural issues but please try to keep others out of this issue. I am hispanic and the extended family was very close. My MIL and FIL tried to speak to my W and all they managed to do was piss her off. They may believe they are helping but as snoderly mentioned your MLCer will think that he is being manipulated and not validated. It does not work. I suggest that you explain to your BIL that although you appreciate his desire to help you respectfully request that he respect your decision and NOT speak to your husband.

In terms of the potential D - often people feel the need to have some form of closure. Your H may feel this way now - does that mean that you will D? Who knows- only God. I personally think that the current M must die. You must build a new M. How? By letting go - by letting H realize just how amazing you are. When will he do this? Who knows - only God. The bigger question here is....do you know how amazing you are? If you do, then what is your next move? What does Pandora need to be happy again? What does Pandora need to smile and laugh again? When you answer that make sure that the answer is based on something that YOU can control.

God Bless
Eric