W still wants separation, need to DB more

[OfficerInNeed]

I appreciate all the input. I take bits and pieces and apply it to our sitch.

I have had a DB coaching session and I am due for another in the next week or two. It was suggested by the DB coach to "act as if" and view my W as a sister rather than my S for now. I should be kind, courteous and respectful. For example if I grab beverage from the fridge it is common courtesy to ask "would you like one?" it is then her choice to accept my kindness and generosity. If she declines, no big deal.

A quick update:
My W woke up (the dog got upstairs and jumped in bed). She called for me to remove the dog from the bed, so I did. My W is discomfort so I asked "You OK?" and she replied "No my stomach hurts bad, could you get me something to drink?" I replied "Of course."

I went and got her a drink (water BTW) and she said "thank you" and I said "Your welcome." Then she asked for a pill (what she usually takes when her stomach acts up), I got it for her and same thing "TY" "YW." I take this as a positive exchange.