Under what circumstances will Option 1 actually work?
OK, I'll bite, although I can tell that you're only asking the same question, in different ways, until someone gives you the answer you want to hear.
Option 1 CAN work, although I can count on one hand how many times I've seen it work on these site, among the thousands of affairs I've studied over the past few years.
The people I've seen pull it off have these attributes:
- they are typically FEMALE.
- They are usually people of faith, who have a STRONG conviction to "stand" for their marriage.
- They learn the art of becoming "lovingly detached," and MASTER it.
- They GAL like crazy.
- They protect themselves legally and financially.
- They learn to lay out -- and ENFORCE -- strong boundaries of personal integrity.
- They have the patience, faith and intestinal fortitude to wait it out for the 6-36 months that such an approach typically takes.
Personally, I don't think you fit the profile, Ken. Option 2 is your best bet, in my strong opinion. But then again, I'm sure you'll do what you want to do, so . . .
