Thx so much mb28. I feel like puking. I told his mother after she told me that she agreed with H after hearing him talk last night about me moving on and finding a new life. They think I should find someone else. I told her that he said these same things in 2002. I moved on per his advice just to have him begging me back after three months. I've had to deal with the hauntings of me dating other people while we were seperated in 2002 ever since. How in the world am I supposed to convince myself to find someone else. First, I don't want my kids meeting someone new, him not treating my kids right, my kids getting attached to someone who is not their father and leaving like their father did. Second, the last thing I want is to find someone else just to have my H tell me months down the road that he didn't mean all of this again and only did it out of anger. I don't need to have my M back only to be haunted about my dating someone while we were seperated.
I imagine I'll be alone for a long time. I've not had a man in my life since I was 15 years old. I honestly think the longest that I've ever been "single" since 15 was for a period of about 2 months.
