This is tough because he has not said that he would tell you when he starts dating and you have chosen not to ask him to, right? That's where it currently stands?
Not that explicitly. Our last R convo was on Jan 9 when he said that there was no OW, that he had no desire to work on the M but that he wasn't closing the door to reconciliation. I told him that I have a right to know if anything changes in his status and he agreed to tell me if anything changes. At the time I felt that an OW would be covered under that. But that was more than 3 months ago. At that point if he wasn't dating/having sex he may have felt more guilt and responsibility to me. In the intervening time he may have shifted towards letting himself off the hook, with the help of his friends. Or he just doesn't know how to tell me, for fear of me getting hysterical or punishing him in the D. And I guess there's even a tiny chance that he hasn't closed the door to reconciliation and doesn't want to hurt his chances by disclosing OW to me. Who the heck knows.
Last time I talked to DB coach (quite a while ago), she suggested that I gently but directly ask him if he's dating.
Last edited by flowmom; 04/21/1011:17 PM.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
