I ask this w/ the utmost humility: "Where am I supposed to be?"
I can finally sleep at night, be truly productive at work, go days w/o talking about my sitch at work- longer if not asked outright, my journaling does not mention W or my sitch, hasn't for a bit now...
I ask this b/c I am sensitive to the frustration I am sensing from replies...I am not at all offended nor unwilling to understand it, I really want to know where I am supposed to be...
I agree, the addiction to the drama HAS affected me negatively in many ways- I am not interested in going back to those days-
I understand that W is a drug- the effect on me is not what it was...I know that's like me saying I don't think drinking 2 beers is problematic for an alcoholic- so I will not dig my hole any deeper...
Where am I supposed to be?
I do not know what I want anymore- isn't that a good sign? I'm not jumping at this opportunity like I would have months ago...I am not pursuing W, I haven't read a M book in months, I haven't looked up Piecing stories in months, I feel like I did turn a corner.
Is the frustration that I am communicating w/ W? I need to know what to do...I do have my boundaries- W knows I don't know what I want to do...how am I going wrong?
Again- utter humility here-
I am MORE interested in saving MYSELF at this time...
I have been very masochistic throughout this- something I am NOT proud of...
