embracing change

[flowmom]

So this morning sucked. I took the kids to a play, which I was looking forward to. Who ends up sitting 5 feet away from me? "V", the homeschooling mom who H seems to be secretly friendly with. More red flags. I smiled at her and said "hi". She seemed to be avoiding saying "hi" and talking to me. I haven't seen her since her separation (Nov 09) but we've had very friendly chats in the past and she also sent me a very friendly email after my separation. It really seemed like she was avoiding me. It didn't help that I feel really insecure around this particular group of moms, which is wierd because I totally click with other groups of homeschoolers.

So I went through this whole loop: this sucks if he has an OW who is part of my community. Thoughts of how I could confront him. Then getting stuck on: what would I do if I knew that he was sleeping with her or another OW? Not really sure. I'd really rather know without H knowing that I know.

I know that most people on this forum could consider it an A if a married person starts a R while separated. I'm not sure that it's so clearcut to me. In every way H is acting as if he is divorced already. He is not sending mixed messages to me. The only grey area is the whole "trial" separation thing. It would be an emotional punch in the gut to find out about an OW, but I don't find it surprising that H would want to date/sleep around given that he doesn't want to be married to me any more.

So I think I should do nothing and stop thinking about this. Wish me luck. sigh.