Just trying to clarify: I don't like living with someone who is so mean spirited all the time. Yes, I do watch what I say around her as in sarcasm, or things that she could take different ways. I do not talk about OM at all.
It doesn't matter, though. As I said, she will find something to be snotty about if she wants to. She will complain that I don't ask her about such and such, then, the next day or week, get pissed because I did ask. She makes things up as she goes and I do call her on it. I think everyone knows that I didn't before. It doesn't seem to matter right now. I think she knows I'm done getting crapped on and it makes her mad. Now I have to tell myself it's good that she's mad and it's good that I have finally started standing up for myself.
At the same time, it seems as if we're moving farther down the road to S if not D. I know that I will be OK if that is the case. I'm not ready to throw in the towell and I know to expect her to rain fire and brimstone on me because she isn't automatically getting her way anymore. I know all of this but it doesn't make it easier.
Pigskin, I know you are trying to steer me clear of the pitfalls that you went through. I do appreciate your concern and advice. Don't think I'm not listening. I am trying to make things fit my specific sitch. Fine tuning if you will.
I do get on here and vent and let my worries out. I am no longer the lapdog at home. It does still bother me and this is the outlet that I have so I don't have to keep it all inside. I am not the clingy man-child that I was when the bomb was first dropped. I am getting stronger every day. I know the full wieght of everything won't come off of my chest until I fully detach. I'm just not there yet. I think I am getting there and I think I am showing my W that I am farther along than I really am. Maybe she can see through it all, idk. Maybe nothing will save us. I have to be OK with that.
