Just found out she already filed

[ImprovedRomeo]

FM, thanks for the wise words. I looked at the link alice44 posted but they don't seem to be in SoCal. I've heard of another one called "it's just lunch" or something like that but that's really with the ultimate goal of finding the next soul mate. I'm looking more to expand my social network. Without STBXW I've lost a lot in terms of social network. She's really good at making friends - she already has several new friends from what I've been able to gather. Last night DD called her to say goodnight and she was at some new friend's house studying for this project management cert she's working on. The other lady has a kid DD's age so DD knew her. Anyway, I digress. I want to make new interesting and fun friends too but my low self-confidence/esteem get in the way.

Wii, I know about meetup.com and there's a single parent's group that I joined but haven't gotten out to any of their outings yet. I like the idea of enrolling in classes that are predominantly female! like jazzercising, yoga, dancing etc lol - somehow I feel I'll stick out like a sore thumb, it's so not me. Gimme tools and I'll take a motor apart in 2 hours...that's me. Or gimme the outdoors and I'll become the Survivorman...that's me.

Bill, just hit up your buddies in their threads if they haven't checked in on yours for a bit. I'm sure they'll recognize you. You can always go back to BillM Thanks for the song, I listened to it on youtube and liked it.

OF, at a minimum we need to see a summary of your sitch in your signature. As long as we've been talking I don't even know your age and can't remember how long you were married if you had grown kids but most importantly what you're doing now and what are your plans (I'd asked before but you didn't give any details :)).

As for going dark, I WANT to go dark but it's hard. When DD's with me she calls STBXW to say goodnight (and vice-versa with me) so while I dial and hand her the phone STBXW knows I'm in the house so at best I can only go dark for 2-3 days out of the week when DD's with her and she hears or knows nothing about me. I'm not making an excuse, I sometimes want to know where she is but so far I've resisted really well to find out. Sometimes I want to say how I feel (angry at times and sad at times and missing her at times) but I haven't said a word so far...just here to you guys.

I think the name thing is so I can improve my self-esteem my reading, hearing and thinking positively about myself. I still haven't decided on which one to go with.