Do you have some "wickedly fun" girlfriends? Sounds like that might be what you need. They'll help you find out what you like; nothing like good "girl time." Just from your posts it sounds like you were so wrapped up in him and your kids you forgot about you. I did the same thing and had to make my "list."
New things I like: Spin class at the gym Rockclimbing Zumba Facebook Craigslist Eating anything I want when I want Martinis Spas that do things with mud! Journaling Holding my cats Breathing deeply and often
Etc., etc, etc.... Even the small things count!
Good luck, hang in there, and find yourself...
Me 55 H 49 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10
Di, I am with you in the wrapped my whole identity around my h and son.
Here's the thing. You realized it and that's great because knowledge is power. You know that that was not good for you. You also know that you can handle a great many things on your own. Also, a good thing.
So, armed with this knowledge, you can begin your search of self. It will not come as a lightning bolt. It will come in little steps. But it will come, I promise.
You are heading in the right direction. Keep going.