It's been a few weeks since I posted, and I wanted to let people know what is (or isn't) going on. My wife and I had our second session together this morning. The first one was with my theapist, and today's was with hers. The tone of this session was totally horrible. It was as though we were back at the beginning and most of the discussion was about my wife's desire for an amicable separation. I am so confused and angry. She expressed her lack of interest in making anything work with me, she said she sees me as an intruder in the house and she feels like she can't get to work on herself with me around. She feels she needs to work on her problems alone so that she can be strong for our kids. She says she doesn't want me to help or support her in her getting in touch with what she wants to change about herself. Her therapist is a monster. She doesn't fight for the relationship, she just sat there and said, "You feel like you're changing and that your problems can be worked out together," and she doesn't. And then she just stares at me. And then I had to hear all of the talk about how wonderful it is to be a co-parent and how my relationship with my kids can still be very close and fullfilling without the emotional attachment to my wife. My wife says her perfect scenario for us is like the one between Demi Moore and Bruce Willis. They spend time together with the kids, they vacation together, etc. I felt like screaming! My wife admittedly is not good at expressing her needs, and instead of working on it, she wants to split up and work on it alone. I said, "And you will work on expressing yourself to whom? The wall?" She feels like working on the M is a waste of energy because she doesn't see herself changing her feelings (the ones she can't express). When my therapist met with us she told my W she is working on the whole relationship, when I meet with her therapist, I am put on the hotseat and spoon fed how I am supposed to feel post-separation. I finally called Divorce Busting and scheduled my sessions. I am totally desperate and will not stop fighting.
