yes I have admitted a while back that I believed we were piecing and we are not. I stayed in this forum because people encouraged me to not drop out.
I didn't mean you shouldn't be in this forum . I was just asking how MC fits into this when your H is in an active affair and is frequently treating you really badly. It seems like he's used the MC to keep you hanging on to the M, while he is demonstrating no commitment to the M. Going to MC involves you making yourself vulnerable and trusting him with your feelings and thoughts...but he hasn't earned that trust IMO.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
How am I to trust H when repeatedly he hasn't a) shown up on time on the days and times we've agreed to, b)abandoned S completely on his days, c) not followed through on our agreement on beginning visits d) shown verbal and once, physical abuse to our S.
Either you do or you don't. If you don't then maybe ending the R is the best for everyone concerned. Rebuilding trust when it has been this shattered (especially with the abuse) is damn tough.
Are you willing to settle being in an untrusting & unfulfilling R and continue to tolerate what he is doing as you have described above?
I believe you deserve better... he may not be capable of doing better.
Peace Bridge
Divorced 03/2010 Mom to two amazing kids
Taking the road less traveled because those encountered on the way may be just as unique.
He's obviously on a roller coaster...verbally abusive one week, giving gifts and doing favours the next. You don't have to ride though .
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
I think that's absolutely the right thing to do. Focus on you-it ALWAYS makes them curious when you are somewhat "distracted". Which gets easier and easier when you REALLY do get distracted by figuring out what YOU want.
. I was just asking how MC fits into this when your H is in an active affair and is frequently treating you really badly. It seems like he's used the MC to keep you hanging on to the M, while he is demonstrating no commitment to the M. Going to MC involves you making yourself vulnerable and trusting him with your feelings and thoughts...but he hasn't earned that trust IMO.