Not sure how it works in your state, but I've heard that you can get a temporary order to make him pay the bills without filing. If your not ready to file, maybe you can ask your L about that.

If you have any fear that H might do something dangerous, then I agree you should change your locks and have someone stay with you and the kids.

Keep recording the phone calls. Those will help you tons if you end up needing to get a protective order against him.

Hugs

Together 16 years
Married 12 years
Me 36
H 34
D9 & S6
Separated 12/3/09
Confirmed A 1/25/10
Exposed A 1/26/10
H hired L, but not filed yet 1/27/10