Hey guys! Thanks for the well-wishing. She's ok. Still doing tests for not only the allergy thing but the heart issues she's been having for the past few months. Anyway, there's not really much to report. For sure her frequency of going out is WAY down. She's only been out with her "friends" once in the past couple weeks (edited in: and that's not just because of the health issues. We've done lots as a family in that time). That said, she didn't exactly tell me she was going, nor did she volunteer the info when I asked how the night went. I was working and her sister was in town so she popped out while I was gone and left the kids with sis. She didn't really "tell" me about it either. Rather the kids told me she went out and when I asked her about it, she admitted that she'd gone to dinner with "them" for a couple hours. We had a VERY quick discussion about it which I think surprised her (the quick part). She's used to me ranting and raving. I stopped myself from doing that. I simply told her it was NOT ok for her to go out and leave the kids without at least letting me know, especially with all that's going on with her health. I didn't say another word about it. No questions, no nothing. Then a couple days later I simply said to her on my way out "I am saying this to you now, when there is no time for discussion to prove I am not interested in fighting or arguing about this (normally I would wait until we had plenty of time to go at it). I've been thinking a lot about things and wanted to let you know that I will accept no deception in our marriage, and that her going out again without telling me was a form of that considering the already dubious nature of these friends." That's it. She looked at me kinda surprised and just said "ok". There hasn't been much else going on since then, which I think was Monday.
Our SL continues to be fantastic, better than it's been since the affair, and life in general is good. We are making business decisions, plans for the future, etc.
I still can't say for sure what I think about the possibility of an affair. What I can say for certain is that IF she is having one, she learned a lot from last time and has made a conscious decision to go about this one differently, e.g. never admit anything. Last time, very shortly after it began, she spilled and then continued it for a long time. This time she's still kinda out in the open, as if she's doing nothing wrong, but she's still acting affectionate towards me (not at all last time), still active with the family (not much at all last time), still wants me around (not at all last time) and in general, is acting fairly "normal". If she's covering something up, she's gotten SO much better at it.
I'm starting to really believe that things RIGHT NOW are as she says. We would call it an EA but to her, she just has friends, one of whom is a guy. I believe SHE believes that's all it is. I believe that it can and likely will be more. That said, it's POSSIBLE that it won't.
So I am living life, trying to do better for me, keeping one eye on her and going forward with absolutely no expectations of what will happen. I fully accept all possibilities and also my power to decide what to do if/when I find out there's something to react to. I am far from stupid and know that if she continues to lie or at least be less than honest, that there's a good chance it's not just because I react like an a-hole so she wants to avoid conflict.
So to summarize, most signs point to better sailing ahead but danmit if I can't hear a bomber in the distance. Just have to get the AA guns ready and see if they turn this way.
