Surviving & Thriving

[sandycay]

LOL Kerry! No, I've seen the back no batteries. He is just a doer. Plus his words and emotions are there.

Here is an email I am thinking of sending EXH, I will wait for feedback till I send.

EXH:

Your message that you left on my phone had an indicative tone that I was denying "your right" to see the kids. That could not be further from the truth. I will not call you back, again our communication shall be by email. I am not going to be yelled at anymore. I am unable to give you advice on how to repair your relationship with the kids. It's not my place to do that, that is why I have stepped away from the matter.

If you read the "parenting plan" you will see that we agreed that we both wanted them to have a good relationship with both of us and that the kids would be able to decide and arrange their time with you or me for that matter. It is up to them, they are of age, and they have a choice. That goes both ways.


On top of the whole "who respects who issue" this is what I hear:

They have both expressed that the boat is not comfortable. The sleeping arrangements are not comfortable. They want to feel like they are at a home not a visitor with their dad. These are all things that were discussed with you prior to the divorce. In the court mandated parenting class the professionals spoke of the kids needing to feel like they belong in both their homes. They don't feel that when they sleep on a couch and a 1/4berth and have one "drawer" to place their belongings in. They shouldn't be visitors they should feel like they belong. You made a comment to them that "every time you guys are on the boat, something breaks". These comments are hurtful and make them not want to come. This is an example.

I am in no way~shape or form saying I am the world's greatest mom and never say stupid things or the wrong things and I certainly screw up things too, but your kids want to have their DADDY so bad. They need you. They need you and they want you but not in the current state you are in. You are openly hostile and verbally abusive to them and to me. There is no reason for you to be this way. We have done nothing to deserve the continuation of these episodes.

I will leave this issue alone because it is up for the three of you to figure out. I am willing to help facilitate it anyway I can.


The other issue is your comment the other day you made in the driveway. I am tired of the threats. I try to talk about cooperation (like dividing up tools and such so we both might have what we need) but you continue with hostility and threats and that's not ok. Technically, EXH I don't have to divide anything on property with you but I find that ridiculous so I want to be fair but when you make snide comments as often as you do and threats it makes that very difficult. I am packing your belongings and your parents belongings with care but I just get hostility in return. Why? This is your stuff and it doesn't need to be here, it belongs to you and your family, not mine. We really need to have a positive relationship but in order for that to happen you need to stop being so angry. It makes no sense why you are angry at me. What did I do to you?

Please make arrangements with me by the end of the month to pick up your belongings.

Leah