What should I do about potential OM?

[Greek]

Rarely happens that way. More likely, OMW kicks up a sh!t storm, OM sees how expensive in a number of ways his A with your W is, and he'll run home to reconcile.
Greek

[timehealsall]

and you don't think that NOT exposing the A isn't going to affect the kids?

you expect Dazed to allow his W to cakeeat? no frikkin way! we can agree to disagree.

Look at this scenario. Both W and OM are in this fantasty land of cakeeating. They both still have their spouses by their side. If, and this can go either way, OMW decides to kick OM to the curb.. yes, he may be free'd up for W BUT who is to say that the OMW kicking him to the curb won't ignite a feeling of panic that his W has left him and realize that he doesn't want Daxed's W anymore?

When the A is out in the open. The thrill and excitement fades. The illusion starts crumbling down and the pair see each other for what it really is.

Dazed, I would contact OMW via FB if necessary. Send her a message asking to speak with her regarding your W and her H. Give her your number.

[dday101798]

Never once did I say to let his W cake eat, matter of fact I said the exact opposite.

[dazed1]

Any response(s) to everyone who took the time to post to you since yesterday? I know it's probably not what you wanted to hear, but . . .

Puppy - I responded this morning. With two small kids to help take care of + one PC in the house I don't have time after work to get on here. I don't need W to see me on this site...at least not yet. HUGE thanks to everyone for responding. Believe me, I'm taking it all in as I try to get spun up quickly on how to deal with this. As far as not what I wanted to hear...that's okay. I can take it and I welcome the 2x4's. While lurking on here I've become a big fan of sandi and her blunt (still great) comments. I hope she chimes in.

[dazed1]

I see it as, OMW already knows and is infuriated enough by it. So, in him contacting her, she may just get so fed up with the situation that OMW will give OM the boot and just free up OM even more to the WAW.

No idea what OMW knows at this point. W claims that OMW blew up due to W's "innocent" comments on OM's FB wall. If OM spoke to his wife in glowing terms about my W (like the stuff I was hearing from my W) and then OMW saw OM chatting it up on FB with my W it's POSSIBLE that OMW blew up over that. She may not know that anything happened. From her email to W it sounds OM told OMW that my W was chasing him.

[dazed1]

Another question...how do I GAL with small kids at home? My life consists of work, maintaining the house and cars and doing things with the kids (generally with W). I go to a gym a few times/week and I'm reading some good books, but other than that I have no time. I don't want to penalize my kids while I GAL away from them.

[dday101798]

Another question...how do I GAL with small kids at home?

Do new and exciting things including them.

Obviously, discluding the wayward W.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Any response(s) to everyone who took the time to post to you since yesterday? I know it's probably not what you wanted to hear, but . . .

Puppy - I responded this morning. With two small kids to help take care of + one PC in the house I don't have time after work to get on here. I don't need W to see me on this site...at least not yet. HUGE thanks to everyone for responding. Believe me, I'm taking it all in as I try to get spun up quickly on how to deal with this. As far as not what I wanted to hear...that's okay. I can take it and I welcome the 2x4's. While lurking on here I've become a big fan of sandi and her blunt (still great) comments. I hope she chimes in.

Gotcha -- I understand! Just making sure we didn't scare ya off!

Puppy (whose bark is much worse than his bite)

[Puppy Dog Tails]

No idea what OMW knows at this point. W claims that OMW blew up due to W's "innocent" comments on OM's FB wall. If OM spoke to his wife in glowing terms about my W (like the stuff I was hearing from my W) and then OMW saw OM chatting it up on FB with my W it's POSSIBLE that OMW blew up over that. She may not know that anything happened. From her email to W it sounds OM told OMW that my W was chasing him.

Too many "ifs." You need to speak with OM's wife directly, let her know what's going on, and get any intel from her that you can as to what's happening no her end. Let HER decide what, if anything, she then wants to do with that.

In my experience studying affairs, a cheating spouse will lie about what the other spouse knows 99%* of the time.

Puppy

*this figure includes the OM/OW lying to OUR cheating spouse, which happens VERY often!!!

[gman]

In my experience studying affairs, a cheating spouse will lie about what the other spouse knows 99%* of the time.

Puppy

*this figure includes the OM/OW lying to OUR cheating spouse, which happens VERY often!!!

spot on - OM told OM W that I knew that he and my W were having sex...so no need to contact me.

i agree - contact OM W and see what she knows...compare notes, gather intel.

gman