And she also did tell me to like everyone on this board to GAL and to get help for my depression. Just to wait for H to contact me, and not to call him to argue with him about not paying bills etc.
GF,
You stated that this was in the beginning of this. That has been over a year. And while I do realize that everyone heals in their own time, part of that process is to start detaching.
The first step in detaching is to limit or cease all contact. That is FOR YOU.
You didn't take Fixers advice simply because he is a man, and had a MLC.
You took his advice, because it was THE ONLY PLAN that allowed you to initialize contact with your spouse.
Fixer is in a different spot than you need to be.
You are so focused on your spouse that you are not seeing the damage that you are doing to you.
When you post here, you are only willing to listen to other posters who have reconciled, and you define that as a success.
You have consistently ignored some of the BEST advice on this board, as well as a DB coach.
I fully expect you ignore this post.
The post above from 25 sent shivers through me....
That advice that I posted then, is the same advice that I and many others have been posting to you for almost a year now.
No body here wants to see YOU in this pain.
Many here see this pain that you are in, as self-induced.
The focus HAS to be on you , and taking care of your children. Your Daughter MORE than anything else. The example you are setting is not a healthy model for her.
Teach her to stand for what she believes in , but you have to find a healthy way to go about it.
Find a way to do better than you have shown. Stop looking for any lame excuse for contact with him.
Let the relationship between he and your Daughter become THEIRS for now.
It's time GF......
Time to stop being the victim and start healing....
( Fixer, I meant no offense to you. You ARE in a different place than GF is. )
