Feeling angry today. H didnt do anything. On the contrary. He is patient and tries to understand. I did give a letter last night and he read it when he came home and cam ein and hugged me tight. No discussion of course. But he was sweet.
But, boy oh boy am I angry!!! At her mostly. And at him. I edited the letter I wanted to send to her. I forwarded it to H. He said "do as you wish, send it if you want, I have no issue with it". From the way I felt, from his reponse, I realised I wanted a reaction from him. I started thinking he didnt care because he has warned her already "Crazy wife will send you a letter, ignore it, she is mad and I am gaslighting her"... YEP!! THAT crazy! I mean, I know when I am out of control, and I am out of control these days...
June, abbey, addie, Ali, I think we all feel pretty much the same emotions. Some of us are smarter, some of us were hurt worse. I can relate to each and every sentence you girls wrote. Moving forward, I think, means, abandoning the IDEA/NOTION/DREAM of the marriage/relationhsip we once had. As long as we hold on to it, now that we KNOW we dont have THAT, we are in turmoil. My stomach hurts, too much stress. I will come back later.
Forrest my dear, piecing suits you fine. And yes, he can say "I f@cked up, I am sorry, I love YOU Maria". Maybe that is all it would take.. K
