Thank you for the fodder. I will have to chew on that. The conversation on having to move on will be the turning point and final though imho. I will not lie about having relationships though. I will not as an example to my children. My children are intelligent and i know they will surmise the situation (or maybe have). I will lead by example and be the better person in this.
My wife is selfish, no question, and she is scared to act and doesn't want to look like the bad guy in this i'm sure. I almost have the feeling she is keeping score, or trying to, to find something to blame me or use as the ultimate aha excuse to 'leave' me. Hasn't happened and not gonna happen. I won't give her the easy way out. I know she wants to appear the victim to her family and friends. That would make her decision easy.
I see her behavior lately changing a bit, and thats what concerned me and led me back here. She is becoming short tempered at me at times for no reason but i recognize it and don't bite back. Almost like she is baiting, trying to create conflict. Maybe its her frustration, maybe calculated, i don't really know.
I don't see a remedy for this. I will flip strategy a bit and try some new things. I am skeptical as who wouldn't be after all this time? Yes, i am very unhappy and that has got to change.
You aren't living your life like an attractive man, you are watching her every move and reacting based on what she does, that sounds like a life unfulfilled and you are inevitably setting an example for your children to follow as they learn by your actions not by your words - do you want this type of existence for them? If it was them going through this and not you, what would you tell them? It's time to take the lead in your life and lead yourself in the direction you want to go in even if that means leaving your wife, in fact, she may have been waiting for this all along but felt too guilty to do anything so what you have is two people stuck in a relationship they don't want to be in and you're teaching your kids that, don't fool yourself into thinking otherwise.
