MINDFULL - It won't be long now... Parallel Paths

[mindfull]

Aver! I keep forgetting to check in on you! My job has been CHAOTIC, and I'm losing track of my faves!

Just that those of us (ahem, avermont) who are still wallowing are now looking for stories of that "done" moment.

Hmmmm... When was I done? Lots of little "dones" - But the big one had to do w/information from the PI. I purposely haven't advertised specifics, because I have a plan. It would take a LOT to get me to waver from it, and... quite simply, I'm not interested in differing opinions of it! LOL

But, I'll just say...

I had to allow myself to release the anger, resentment, and most of all, requirement of myself to trytrytry anymore. But, I did. It's freeing.

The only advice I would give is, for anyone who has any suspicion of infidelity... DO NOT just go into dealing w/it haphazardly. Here's what I did, that allowed me to be done, when confronted w/behavior/proof of an A:

#1-Get yourself mentally and emotionally ready to deal with the results of infidelity intel(Don't take two years like me... I suspected from BOMBDAY#1, but wasn't strong enough to deal w/the information.)

#2-Develop a plan for the uncovering of truth/results of the truth (may have multiple plans), and truly understand and commit to your personal marital deal breakers. For me, it wasn't just an A that was the deal breaker... it was him watching me day in and day out try to save this M (for two years, plus)...

#3 - Get lawyered up BEFORE you start the uncovering of intel. Use your plan to drive your intentions w/the L. For me, I can't think of any way to come back from all of this. Financially, we have a LOT of considerations (companies, investments, IRS issues, loans, etc...), so after the meeting w/the L, I needed time do my homework, since I don't handle any of this for our family. When I confront my H w/the infidelity intel, he will promptly be handed a legal SA, and told he is leaving the home immediately.

#4 - Hire the best damn PI you can find. I've spent a LOT, but, I can tell you, that within the first few days of hiring (and before even tailing him), they had info I had not even begun to consider. It will make you puke.

#5 - Don't release too quickly. I'm receiving final PI info today. I still have homework to do for the L. Because of IRS issues, I may need to wait an extra few weeks to unload all of this. It's not easy to sit on, but I won't jeopardize my future because I got impatient. Hell, I've waited two years.

#6 - At the end of all of this, you should be okay, and at peace with your decision. If you're not, you're not ready.

I'm just ready for relief.

I hope this "personal" day fills you with strength and energy!

Thank you. It's time to begin living again (for me), and not everyone else. I'm a WORKING Mom w/a fiesty teen, two boys that play club soccer, PLUS a school sport at the same time, a H that travels all work-week (well, maybe notsomuch...). I looked in the mirror and finally saw my face, not surrounded by everyone else's. Time to focus.