Sorry about the above posts--I'm kinda journaling here & trying to get it out so I don't meltdown in front of the kids. I did a God-awful job of it last night.
Serious question, though...
The two year old woke up sobbing several times last night. I tried, but couldn't really comfort him. I asked if he was sick, did he hurt somewhere, did he have a bad dream? No answer, just sobbing. Finally I asked the obvious--do you miss Daddy?
A big, loud YES!! followed by heavier crying. He finally went back to his own bed & has been sleeping through the night. Poor baby.
So my question is...do I tell H that his son woke up crying because he misses him & he needs to step it up and at least call them at night before bed? The older one was upset that he'd missed H yesterday while he was at school. They spent the hour before dinner making him signs & letters and "gifts" out of their toys. They think they can get him to come back if they try hard enough. I firmly, but gently, told them that wasn't going to happen--but I'm sure Daddy would love the letters hearing how much they loved him.
Why can't he step it up? How can he just not talk to them? He didn't even hug them yesterday. He just got in the van and left like he was running to the store really quick. Even the football jersey I bought S6 yesterday--Daddy's favorite team so S6 would feel like they still had a connection and he could look forward to watching the games with Daddy in the fall--H even scoffed at that. Made some lame comment about how Mommy was just going to have to get him all sorts of stuff now that he wasn't there. (should add it was on clearance--I didn't go out of my way & break the bank to forge a tie to H, it really was a gesture for my son)
Dude. Seriously. I don't want to tell him that S2 was crying last night. He's pissing me off and pretty much making me sick--I don't know how he could hurt them like that. But I hate to see them suffer.
I don't think I need to tell him to man up and be a father. I think he'll just use the info against me--and if he really cared he'd have already figured it out, right? Last time I called him for them (in the late summer last year), I wouldn't even talk to him--just dial the phone for them so they could talk--and he still managed to get me on the phone and accuse me of using them to get to him. whatever.
I just hate that they are so hurt by this.
He is being crappy towards them. My parents are being crappy towards me. Am I the only one here who actually HAS parenting instincts?? I'd wanna rip someone's heart out if the hurt my kid. I do wanna rip someone's heart out.
My poor kids.
formerly known as "shelbel" Me 40, stbxh 40 DSs 9, 7 & 3 M9, T10 Stbxh is a diagnosed bipolar & an addict. The end.
