OK, but in regards to Kalni's husband. There is a totally different thing b/t living in the past and addressing the past.

I think Kalni wants to simply address the past and is justified in doing so. Otherwise how do you resolve hurts from the past.


I know my hubby has sat through more than one uncomfortable conversation about why he did what he did. He was so very, very hard for him. He had to take Xanax after conversations like these...


I don't know if Kalni's husband is:

a. He is terrified to tell all of his thoughts on the past, Kalni will give up and leave?
b. He will hurt her really, really badly and he can't bear that?
c. He doesn't want to feel the discomfort and go through how difficult it will be to discuss such ugly things?
d. He doesn't want to confront his own ugly feelings?
e. He thinks the past is the past and she is needlessly harping on nothing?
f. He feels like she is not entitled to know everything about him?
g. He honestly can not really understand why he did what he did?
h. He feels like talking about the past would be like opening up a can of worms and just lead to really ugly places and thoughts


Maybe a,b and e? Maybe all of the above, none of the above? Who the heck knows?

Last edited by june72; 04/21/10 08:25 AM.
M38, H37
S3, S7
Together 15 yrs
Married 8 yrs
Bomb July 2008
Inhouse separation
"I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count)
Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)