Why do I have such a hard time with letting her face the consequences of her choices? Is this just a giant fear of being alone, or more????
You need to examine your motives closely...I'd say it's you wanting to rescue the damsel in distress...and you can't seem to break that habit.
I remember being protective at one time of my husband, and was guilty of bailing him out many times....I was WRONG for doing that, and no longer do it. He gets angry when I make him take responsibility for his actions...but so what? He gets himself in it, he will get himself out of it....I refuse to take on his responsibilities, and so it either gets done, or he gets in trouble somewhere down the road because he didn't do it.
It is all part of letting go, DBS...some people are the type that they have to fall down and crack their heads before they learn not to do some of the stupid things they do...and because someone else will "bail them out"...they keep doing stupid stuff, never learning the consequences for their actions because someone else is "reaping" those for them. As long as you keep "rescuing" her, she never learns...so let her fall down hard...it's good for her to do that.
She may cry and scream about it, but you will not have to suffer on her account..SHE would have to do that.
Sometimes love MUST BE TOUGH..and because we love, we let them go to whatever consequences would come for them. Why should we suffer for THEIR mistakes...they are learning nothing, while we suffer.
Something to think about.
Remember, as each person is different, every MLC/Transition is different..what works for one may not work for another. Most of the time it is trial and error for ALL involved.
