I need to vent a little, so here goes. smile This past weekend my daughter's friend from college and her 2 little girls came to visit us. She had her van packed, kids in the car, and her van wouldn't start. I asked my next door neighbor to look at her van, even though I believed she just needed a new battery. We jumped the battery, but it died soon after that. A man visiting his daughter (my neighbor on the other side) walked over, said he was a retired mechanic and he would take a look at it. Later, I thought good thing he retired, because he knew nothing more than I did....which wasn't much! Both men said the terminals were corroded so bad, she would have to have the van towed somewhere because they couldn't get the battery out.

We thanked them for helping us and she turned to me and asked me if I knew anyone who I would trust to look at her van who wouldn't charge her an arm and a leg. I said yeah, sure I do...my husband. I sent him a text, making sure I just stuck to the facts asking him if he had time to look at it for her. He replied he was busy all night long. I sent a text back, saying "ok, thanks anyway." 15 minutes later he calls me. He asked me exactly what was wrong with the van and I repeated what I told him before. Then he tells me that he could come down later this evening, but it wouldn't be until after 8 P.M. Then he goes on to tell me that he was having friends over for a potluck dinner. He said he fixed soup and others were bringing different dishes. I was so good at this point because I did not react like the old me. My husband basically doesn't even like people....never wanted to have people over to our house, and certainly never willingly invited people over to eat dinner with us! He had just shocked me to my core! But, I simply said, "oh, that's nice. Well, you sound too busy tonight and I certainly wouldn't want to take you away from your company." He sounded almost like he was disappointed that I was letting him off the hook. He said, no, I will be done early enough and I'll call you to let you know what time I'll be there. I said, "Ok, but if you can't make it, we understand. Thanks."

My son came to the house. He had also gone to college with my daughter's friend. (In fact, they dated before and he basically never really got over her.) He said he would help her, so I left to go meet my daughter to have dinner. Just when our food was brought to us, I get a text from h saying his potluck was canceled and he was in route. I told him where I was and that my son and friend were at the house. H texts again, saying I'll be there in 5 minutes.

Now, I wanted to run out of the restaurant to get home ASAP. My daughter talked me out of it and she was right. We had a nice dinner and I left to drive home. My h already had the battery in when I got home. He had sliced his finger somehow doing it and asked me for some peroxide. I got that and when I returned to give it to him, I noticed he had shaved off his mustache. I remarked, "hey, you shaved your mustache off!" He said, yeah, I did that about 3 weeks ago. Well, I never even noticed that on the day I had him sign the tax papers. I asked him why he did that since he has had one ever since I met him. H answered that he got up one day, looked in the mirror and decided he wanted to see what he looked like without it. And since he had not had a clean shaven face since he got out of basic training, he thought he would give it a try. I just smiled and said ok. (I personally think he looks much better with the mustache, but I kept my mouth shut)The thought also crossed my mind about maybe another woman hated it and he shaved for her, but I don't want to linger on that thought!

My son and friend were busy watching her little ones as h finished. I remarked to him about how daughter and I mowed the lawn for the first time and how I thought it was harder than I ever thought it was. He smirked and said yes it is hard and even harder when someone is yelling at me for not doing the job to her liking. I asked him what he was talking about and he told me again that I was a perfectionist and demanded he do the job the way I wanted it done. Now, I don't ever remember being that way, but I decided not to argue with him. I simply said, "well, I'm sorry if I was ever that way. I'm not the same person I used to be and I confess I don't remember actually being that way. But, I apologize for treating you badly."

When he was going to his car, I said "thank you for doing this. I know it took a lot out of you to drive down here and fix this after you worked all day." Now, all of a sudden, he changed to the monster. He glared at me and said "yes, it did take a lot out of me." I said "I told you when she asked me if I knew anyone who I could trust. That was you. We had 2 other men look at it and they couldn't even get the battery out!" He said, well it isn't rocket science. I said, "maybe not, but 2 other guys couldn't do it, and you came here tonight and fixed it quick without a problem and I appreciate it." He grimaced and said "oh, flattery." I said "no, it's not flattery, it's the truth. You do a great job and I thank you for it. Goodnight." And with that he pulled off as I walked into the house. But, this time I actually walked into the house instead of standing there watching him go.

I question now if he even had a dinner planned, but only told me that to get a rise out of me. And, maybe it was good that I wasn't home when he got here. For a few minutes tonight standing there by her van, we were chatting just like husband and wife. I could feel the vibe between us...I think he did, too. But, just as quickly, he changes and starts being mean to me.

I would like to think he noticed how I did not get sucked into an argument he was trying to start. And how I did not shed a tear or even look sad. I remained cordial and happy. And, what I noticed was that it was easier for me this time. I didn't have to force myself to act this way; I was comfortable. smile I guess I am changing.