I kind of disagree here. With the moving out thing. Especially when there are kids which means that you DO get the chance to interact and as a result "shine" anyway.
June's H as she shared had no affair. Men RARELY leave when there is no other woman. They are more into "replacement". In my case, I was replaced and he couldnt deceive me any longer cause I was going nuts and starting to make it hard for him. The guilt and double life (lies, arrangements,pressure from her), made him so angry all the time, so difficult to live with, there was NO way for me to calm down and get my self control back, if he had stayed. We would have ended up killing each other. Plus he missed US. The home, the family, me. For a year he had it all, playing the dad and screwing around with his GF, moving out made the price he had to pay obvious, a price he had not given much thought of. Each story, is different. K
Kalni, somehow I missed this post . Thanks for sharing your perspective on this. It's true that H separating from me has been a gift to me in some ways -- I haven't had to deal with his anger as much, I have much more time and space, and I do have the opportunity to babystep towards detachment. I struggle to believe that he misses anything about being married to me or living here, but since I can't mind-read and we have not had a R talk in over 3 months, I really don't know.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
. Thanks for sharing your perspective on this. It's true that H separating from me has been a gift to me in some ways -- I haven't had to deal with his anger as much, I have much more time and space, and I do have the opportunity to babystep towards detachment. I struggle to believe that he misses anything about being married to me or living here, but since I can't mind-read and we have not had a R talk in over 3 months, I really don't know.
