He refused to care about you more than 2 years ago. It's about time for you to do the same. It will not make you a bad person. He can fend for himself. Your wellbeing is a priority right now. You care whether he has moved with OW or not, whether he has lied to you or not. When you stop caring about it the torture will stop.
Ack! I wrote a response hours ago but apparently it didn't post.
I hope your friends were there for you and stayed to make sure H was gone without bothering you. If I had been there I would have slapped him so hard my handprint would still be there. Grr.
You know how much I admire and respect you. You've been through hell and back and are thriving. Now I think you should follow Wholeagain's advice and completely drop the rope. Yes, it's difficult because he's been such a jerk for such a long time. You have been seriously wronged. And I know you've been working on detachment for longer than most of us. Perhaps a new distraction will help...tall, dark and handsome?
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
CG, the satisfaction I get from reading your post is knowing that soon you'll be fabulously living your life with him in your past...while he'll have the punishment of living with himself -- his dishonest, spiteful self -- for the rest of his life (a punishment that OW will share).
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
Thank you all so much for the kind words and support. It means the world to me.
My friends came and my mom and stepdad came as well. We had all the furniture out for him to take as well as all his stuff from the storage shed. The most important thing for me to focus on is the amazing circle of friends I have and my family.
My H showed up almost an hour late without so much the courtesy of a text to let me know. I did not see him at all nor did I even look out the peephole. I asked him to tend to the items first in the hallway then work in the storage unit as it was very late and I knew my neighbors would be going to bed. He didn't do that.
He texted me after they left with a "Im done". Not so much a thank you for hauling out his stuff. I went down to the storage unit and he left all the lights on, the door open and he left the community cart we all share OUTSIDE.
Anything more that has to be done can be done via the postal mail. I have blocked his number from my phone. I will not block him from e-mail until I have the rest of the funds he owes me. My attny is now involved again so that is that. We have been separated since Nov. 19th 2009 and that is ample time for him to execute the rest of the agreement.
And you know what? I feel just fine today Took my dog for a long walk this morning. Had a lovely 30 min. conversation with "hot German Sheppard man" (too bad he has a girlfriend but she is very, very sweet!) and now I have tons of work to catch up on. My sister is coming for dinner tonight.
This is all him and while it is terribly disrespectful and mean to me, I know it can't be about me at this point.
It is not about you at all. It is ALL about him. It took me a long time to realize that lesson also.
I hate to see you feeling beat down. You are always so strong. Try and muster up that strength you used on me for so long. You can pull through this. You are one of the most determined people I have ever met. When you get your strength together and make a decision, you go with it come hell or high water. Find that strength in you.
You can do it.
K4
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
oops, i guess i posted before i finished reading. glad you are doing better.
K4
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.