Depressed H wants to walk

[flowmom]

I honestly think he walks around trying to find things to validate his idea that we won't work out. I don't know why.

Typical male depression is very different than typical female depression. Male depression tends to be focused externally, which often is code for blaming the wife or close loved ones. Please read more about male depression.

Communication has always been our problem. H doesn't share much, I share just about every thought. For the first time in our R we are both working to improve ourselves to be more of what the other needs in this area, to meet in the middle.

Definitely read the book that I recommended to you then. It's about gender differences in communication in M. I think that my idea of how H should be able to communicate was not realistic even though I thought I was asking for "meeting in the middle". Even worse, I didn't realize how damaging some of my own communication was. I honestly believe that if I had read DR and that book before we separated, there might have been a hope of preventing the separation. It wouldn't have been a magic bullet, but I could have practiced a lot more harm reduction while bringing more positive stuff into our lives.