Fast track to her divorcing me

[g450]

Well I just got a wonderful birthday present.
And my worst nightmare has come true.

This may be my last post here. She broke the dealbreaker. I just found out that she has in fact been having an affair and it sounds like it was emotional as well as physical.

She cheated on me! I can NOT deal with this. It's over. I will either move over to surviving or just dissapear from here completely for a while while I deal with this.

She had problems with her email and she is still on my TWC account. So I had her email reset. I could not help myself so I fired up a web browser and looked at her email. Most were deleted but not all. Now I know why she was so frantic about wanting me to fix it for her but not until she was present.

She is in love with her fist high school boyfriend and lover from 30 years ago that she found on facebook. I almost threw up when I read some of the emails. I have his first and last name and apparently he is married and has five kids in college.

She came over and confessed that she never loved me and only married me because she felt like she would never fall in love again. So the entire past 23 years I have been plan B in a loveless marriage. I hurt like hell right now and just cant deal with this.

I told her to get the f**** out of my house and I never want to hear from her again. And I meant it! It's officially over! No more DBing, No more hope, no more anything. I just want this nightmare to be over and want to move on with my life. I will not tell my Son because knowing that his Mom is a sl** would break his heart. But I did let him know that his Mother has a new boyfriend. He will find out sooner or later anyway.

I have a lot of emotions all mixed up in my mind now, Im repulse yet relieved. I am sickened and hurt. And at the same time I still love her or what I thought she was. I am and was in love with an image in my mind. I am a fool. At least I have my Son who loves me.

I may post a few times and then you guys may not hear from me for a while. I need to sort this out. I printed out her emails as a reminder and as proof if ever I need them.

I will not sleep tonight. Please pray for me. The pain is unbearable. And I thought I was getting over the divorce and now the unthinkable has hit me.

Sorry for the rant and the pitty party but I needed to let it out.

Stay strong brothers and sisters. Stay strong. We can get through this!