The kids have both told him they don't want to see him. I have never been so proud of my son tonight as he stood up for himself for the first time and had a voice and kept it strong through his grief towards his dad. He cried for over an hour begging his dad to please try to work on a realtionship with him and stop the lecturing, negativity, stress, drama when they are around of course exH flipped and my S didn't take it. That boy has been more than patient and it was nice to see him not take his father's chit anymore.
EXH tried to drag me into it but S told him no way! S finally handed me the phone but told me 'if he yells at you or talks about me give me the phone back, this is my thing not yours"
eXh then leaves me a message later on cell telling me he can force the kids to see him (he can't) that he has a right to see them (ummmm I encourage the kids to see him, cause frankly doing all on my own SUCKS!)I would never keep them from him, it's not my fault that his years of acting (especially since his A began) like an a$$hole to his kids has taken it's toll.
They said till he was nicer and less stressed they won't see him.
Catch 22 for me, first I am proud they will not allow someone or anyone to treat them as poorly as he has but bummed because WHAAAAAAAAAA I have NO adult time.
Boo Hiss! Thank goodness FFG doesn't mind kids... not to many men out there that would want to date a lady who has her kids full-time.
FFg spent the weekend cleaning my gutters, mowing, aerating my yard, de-mossing my roof, fertalizing my yard, watching my D's softball game (he's made 3 her dad 0), attending his own kids games even when he doesn't have them. Buying groceries for a church wide project, helping me reprogram garage doors. Made a gourmet dinner for us on Monday night. Plus made a garden area for his D so we can plant a little garden with her at his house(she wants to do that)... Plus he leaves 40 min from here so he's back and forth back and forth.
WTH did I do to deserve this? I am starting to feel "anxious" at the thought of it turning south. I am glad I have read so much over the last few years so I can talk my self off the cliff with that one. We haven't had any issues of any kind yet?!
I haven't been so happy .... Ever? I have been asking myself that question for a long time. There was a lot of stress living with EXH and hearing the S tell the EXH what he needs is like listening to myself for the past years. "I just want to feel like you love me, it's not the material things, it's emotional thing". My S said this to my EXH tonight, I have said that to him at some point in our marriage.... it made me catch my breath to hear my S say it.
My heart aches for them.
M:47 M:18 D16, S19 1st S 1/08-5/08 Reconciled/May 7, 2008 Left again Nov 9, 2009 I Filed: Nov 17, 2009 Final: April 14, 2010 EX walked away from kids too
